aberrant companions

My soul sometimes bleeds through sleep, leaving me bewildered with a wakefulness that was less about thoughts and more about deep penetrating feelings that left scars so very long ago one almost but never forgets nor forgot.

I just wished there were even one other soul buried inside one other human that I might connect with in silent understanding so that sitting with no spoken words was a deep presence desired by both.

Like a human who wishes to fly ~ this soul has turned ghostly white waiting for its release.

Perhaps in the mists or even the darkness I might find you to commune with whilst both of our souls remain encased in these human sarcophagi.

 

 

 

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Pour another Ginger and Jack

Sit down upon the glider
surrounded by the coolness
of the late spring breeze
flowing through the open windows

Pull the music close
stare at the unfinished canvas
that begs for attention
getting only the distance of the mind
now lulled in peaceful contentment

She was far away
in the nearness of this day
remembering those times
when nothing interrupted
the joy of reflection that
now comes back to be
if only her eyes now could see
she came full circle
in silent reverie

 

Where did you go

Was I really so foolish

Thinking I had to let you go

Why did I not sit next to you

And wait forever and a day

 

 

hunger

She was an eager to please

quick to frustrate

little child.

 

She desperately needed

all the hugs

one could afford.

 

Her most expensive prize

was the patience

required.

 

The reward ~

her acceptance and

unconditional love.

 

 

~~~~  ~~~~~  ~~~~  ~~~~~

As an educator who now gets to move around

several schools and several school districts

some of the most deeply emotional experiences

are the encounters with the needy children

that cross all income lines

as well as all ages ~

all grades.

To me this is my current calling ~

being semi retired

it is less about the money

and more so about the needs of the students

as well as believing in each one of them.

Some people mistake me ~

simply becuz they have not

inquired more deeply of me

~ that somehow I have less than intents.

The fact is my heart does not allow me any less thans ~

it demands of me that

I care.

Perhaps the care is not the care someone else chooses

in actions or even in words

but I do not expect that anyone else

care the way I choose to care.

I just hope more

WILL

Care!!

Hunger is in more than nutrition to fill the belly.

Hunger is:

  • the need for acceptance just as ‘I am’
  • the need for someone else to BELIEVE in them
  • the need to be seen as capable
  • the need to love and be loved

 

Fill them up that their hearts will shine even when the darkness might fall

and stars might be too far away for brief times in a long journey.

They  will do “the right thing” as their heart is opened even when their face is grimaced

in anger and pain.

 

I do not for a moment give up even on my own although they may not like how I choose to express or to care ~ it is still the right thing my heart knows to do.   I was fortunate and I am humbly grateful that someone in my life when I was but a child BELIEVED in me and tended to my heart that the LOVE might shine no matter what.   I shall pass it on in quiet gratitude during the last days of this lovely journey called LIFE!

 

Feed the Being where the needs are shown.  LOVE no matter what!  Patience when they do not want you near ~ for their own journey is what is clear only to their own heart.

What I learned in nightmares

comet~ the more frightening something is the faster I must resolve to face it

~ it is what we wish to leave behind we keep finding again

~ only when I reach out can I survive

~ risks come with heavy burdens of being charged as guilty with no reason  and lack of understanding

~ the biggest monster is knowing and not then acting

~ I march forward only becuz going backwards would give validity to the disease of  bucking any change

Free

freedom-australia

 

 

the illusions built over years
finally fell from the worn window frame
pane by pane they hit the ground
shattering into slivers, jagged sharps
the fragilility of the core
dare not pick them up
to risk cutting and bleeding out

exposed to the wind and rain and sun
there became a strength
as wings began to unfold
first the moistness risked the filmy screen
see through as dried
unpierceable by human scorn
lightness of the innocence brand new
with ancient eyes embedded
the silence became nothing to you

yet she knew that she knew
and
she loved you no matter where you are
she loves you into the fullness of light
beyond the simple heat mirages
she was, you must know,
she is, you must feel

free

If I should die before I wake …

~ everything is exactly as it is supposed to be ~

 

The moment I realized that the entire process called life which was inextricably tied to death with birth not being a beginning but rather a marker…

Source: If I should die before I wake …

If I should die before I wake …

rose-everything-is-exactly-as-it-is-supposed-to-be

~ everything is exactly as it is supposed to be ~

The moment I realized that the entire process called life which was inextricably tied to death with birth not being a beginning but rather a marker of so little in the greatness of much greater was the next level of freedom my soul dreamed of on its way to unified unconditional love.    Now why be bothered by so much fragile snags that are washed down river or cast up onto disappearing banks never to be seen again other than in the dregs of egos clinging to disrespectful delusions erroneously called hope. 

Live out on the edge of the process while floating above the under current of frothy foam.  Yet live with childlike wonder expecting the unexpected brilliance of abundance of love.  

            I am grateful for it all.                  Breathe stars.    Exhale ancient cosmic dust.  Creation is but energy changing born in the gentle shelter of love’s recessed pool.

                                      We start not all over again but rather after each rest moving not forward or back but upward to the next star.   Love like the love that loves without restraints, without comparisons, with only increased love.        

Gratitude unlocks the heart releasing more mysteries to the connection of the universe that is Universal Love.