What I learned in nightmares

comet~ the more frightening something is the faster I must resolve to face it

~ it is what we wish to leave behind we keep finding again

~ only when I reach out can I survive

~ risks come with heavy burdens of being charged as guilty with no reason  and lack of understanding

~ the biggest monster is knowing and not then acting

~ I march forward only becuz going backwards would give validity to the disease of  bucking any change





the illusions built over years
finally fell from the worn window frame
pane by pane they hit the ground
shattering into slivers, jagged sharps
the fragilility of the core
dare not pick them up
to risk cutting and bleeding out

exposed to the wind and rain and sun
there became a strength
as wings began to unfold
first the moistness risked the filmy screen
see through as dried
unpierceable by human scorn
lightness of the innocence brand new
with ancient eyes embedded
the silence became nothing to you

yet she knew that she knew
she loved you no matter where you are
she loves you into the fullness of light
beyond the simple heat mirages
she was, you must know,
she is, you must feel


If I should die before I wake …

~ everything is exactly as it is supposed to be ~


The moment I realized that the entire process called life which was inextricably tied to death with birth not being a beginning but rather a marker…

Source: If I should die before I wake …

If I should die before I wake …


~ everything is exactly as it is supposed to be ~

The moment I realized that the entire process called life which was inextricably tied to death with birth not being a beginning but rather a marker of so little in the greatness of much greater was the next level of freedom my soul dreamed of on its way to unified unconditional love.    Now why be bothered by so much fragile snags that are washed down river or cast up onto disappearing banks never to be seen again other than in the dregs of egos clinging to disrespectful delusions erroneously called hope. 

Live out on the edge of the process while floating above the under current of frothy foam.  Yet live with childlike wonder expecting the unexpected brilliance of abundance of love.  

            I am grateful for it all.                  Breathe stars.    Exhale ancient cosmic dust.  Creation is but energy changing born in the gentle shelter of love’s recessed pool.

                                      We start not all over again but rather after each rest moving not forward or back but upward to the next star.   Love like the love that loves without restraints, without comparisons, with only increased love.        

Gratitude unlocks the heart releasing more mysteries to the connection of the universe that is Universal Love.    



for in that moment
as the body fell away
the spirit rose up
joining in the universal love
as like rain on a warm summer day
the rays of love fell down
upon heads, flowers, ground
washed anew to begin again
leaving behind the grime
of past times
rising into holy mists
the wonders of hearts
where universal love
always and forever exists
within you
within me
connected beyond
mere breathing
of flesh bound thoughts
torn back like flimsy curtains
to reveal the love
that has always been there
no matter what

mists now burned away
the brilliance of this
Universal Love
It was and is and will be forever
here to stay






from Jeremiah Johnson

“The way that you wander is the way that you choose,
The day that you tarry is the day that you lose.
Sunshine or thunder, a man will always wonder.
Where the fair wind blows.
An Indian says you search in vain for what you cannot find.
He says you’ll find a thousand ways for runnin’ down your time.
An Indian didn’t scream it, he said it in a song,
And he’s never been known to be wrong.
He’s never been known to be wrong.”



and then ……..

~ what comes from listening to my soul ~

My path is not yours
Your path not mine
All that we can do
Is have compassion
for me and you
where we come from
where we go to
our paths barely crossed
perhaps even a time times two
accept what cannot be changed
worry not what comes later
be concerned for now
which is really all we have
in the grand infinite soup
where the highest vibration
is the drumming of that one drum
Universal Love




how does one describe this …


There is a hollowness that feels heavier than the aire inhaled and held there.


This gasp now held still as silence passes through this.


My heart whispers imperceptible longing for your eyes to hold it close ~ yours to mine.





Those days way back when ………….


The farmhouse sat on its own solid ground surrounded by miles of pastures and hayfields waiting to be gleaned alongside the chopped cornfields as off in the distance the ghost of a cornshucker could almost be heard being operated by several long gone men.


On the old wrap around porch she stood with one arm hugging the round white column that held the roof above.  Her eyes squinting into the sun that was effortlessly heading to the edge of the earth as her lips persed to whistle for the old mare.  Wisps of golden reddish hair blown across her left cheek sprinkled with freckles her Aunty had called angel kisses, she leaned forward toward mother earth as if to take flight at the last breathtaking moment when the sun slipped from the earth.



Flowers plucked from vines and leaves much earlier now slightly wilting in the basket gave off the most gentle scent like the breath of a new born babe washed in lotions and swathed in cotton smocked cloth.  Her nose twitched as it caught the posies scent…….. leaving the impression forever deep in her tender heart.



The creak of the screen door startled her back to the first touches of the night aire as her Uncle stepped out and walked firmly to the porch swing calling her name to come sit a spell with him and his promise of more railroad stories to unfold until her head would nod drowsy next to sleep.




Tis a captured time when all the senses were so alive and impressionable……. a time that now is brought up into the present mind as much older she sits staring across the landscape to the east …… wondering……..